This blog has MOVED!!!

The journey continues folks...but not here on Blogspot!

You can find my new blog...including all of the posts and comments from this one over at wordpress. http://road2beautiful.wordpress.com/

See ya there!

Photo update and other ramblings

I think I look skinny here...ok skinny is relative...but seriously!

This shirt I am wearing here, I bought one week ago for a Rock Band Party, in which I wanted to dress in rocker attire! I think I did a decent job...hehehe or at least I had fun! The wig is an official Hannah Montana wig! Anyway, the point of pointing out the shirt is that I put the shirt on today since it was soo blazing hot outside and I have precious little to wear these days...and well...it is ALREADY getting looser on me! Woot! Woot!

I started my new job this week! Well, I started working outside of the training room anyway! I am officially a US Census Bureau Lister....which means I go around and systematically canvass every house in a given area and map every house, or what COULD BE a house! In 3 days I have walked 36 miles! Yes, I walked it! Today, I came home after 7 hours for a break and some lunch and was NOT sure I would be able to go back out...my feet were aching...surprisingly though after a bit of a break, I was able to go out and go pretty strong until almost 9 PM tonight! I am looking forward to not walking long distances for the next two days! Don't worry Aaron and Coach, I will figure in some other kind of workout that does NOT include walking!

I had another random thought...but I am fading fast here...oh well....Oh yes....eating. I have been pretty good on eating...staying within calories...the only thing I am NOT doing is eating more regularly. I eat breakfast, at some point break and grab lunch, then when I get home at approx 9 I eat dinner....and not really factoring in snacks and things...

I am looking forward to seeing what all this walking does for me on Tuesday! Seriously, if this is not a 5 lb loss week I might be upset! I have noticed that by the end of the day, my hands and feet are swollen, so I know I am retaining water....I hope that doesn't happen for the weigh in...any suggestions people on how to make that NOT happen? I am tempted to not work Monday...just to be sure that doesn't happen...but then that will screw me for the rest of the week and it will end up being another week like this one...mass hours in a short time frame!

Ok Goodnight! Much to do before I sleep....much to do before I sleep!

Grrrrr...I hate how when I post pictures....my paragraphs disappear and it looks like one long run-on paragraph.....another reason to switch to wordpress!!! Soon friends...soon!

Not Meant to Be ALone

A few years back there lived a man named Adam. ( no, no , no not the Adam who has been referenced here before!)

Now where was I? Oh yes...a man named Adam. He was given much responsibility and instructions on how to live out his life here on earth. He had purpose and direction, but somehow that wasn't good enough, so his Father found him a woman, a helpmate named Eve. Someone to share life with.

While this story is most often associated with a husband and wife theme....and I am most definitely NOT married yet at my ripe old age of 32 :-)...I think I can still relate to this. In a general sense we (humans) are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to walk through life alone, through all the hills or the valleys. We are created for community! Despite what our society teaches us, we are NOT supposed to be completely independent, fully self-sufficient beings going about life without the help, support and encouragement of others. This does not mean we get to be irresponsible either though!

I know this!

I believe this!

I will spout this truth off to anyone who tries to hold me at bay and not let me walk through life with them or help them reach their goals in some way, if it is within my power to do so.

So why do I like to be so doggone independent and stubborn and self-sufficient. I simply squirm at the idea/thought of needing/accepting help. I have thought about this subject off and on for some time now. This past week, this idea of dependence came up yet again as I needed help.

Now, let me just say....I am far, far, FAR better at letting people help me than ever before. I used to never even let others know I needed help, even if they directly asked me!

So here is what happened. I locked my keys in my trunk as I was packing my car and leaving for church, followed by lunch with friends then back to Detroit for my nephews baptism. In my mind, the only possibility was to skip church, get a tow truck out to unlock my doors, so I could access my trunk, so I could meet the friends for lunch at least.

I called Adam (back to current reality folks, not ancient history), since I was supposed to be saving a seat for him, to let him know I wouldn't be there. His plan was to pick me up for church and we would see what possibilities opened up for lunch/opening my doors after church. Umm ok. This is generally not a big deal. When I lived in GR, we would often ride to church together. But somehow, because it was a NEED now...I felt weird about it. As if somehow this time, it would be putting him out to do this.

I never said my thoughts would be rational, folks!

After church, we met up with the above friends...with my plan being to tell them that I would not be meeting them for lunch because I needed to take care of the car to ensure I get on the road in time to be back for the nephews big day! Adam didn't plan on staying for lunch, so my ride back was with him. In comes Todd and John who suggest the following.

1. Adam goes to lunch...afterall...he has to eat, right? Adam agrees only because lunch would be Jet's Pizza, and well he likes the people he would be with...and they would't take no for an answer!

2. Todd and John would drive up and try to coat hanger my doors open, get my keys and drive my car back to me...problem would then be solved. Worse case scenario, I still leave with Adam but no later than 2:30.

Ummm ok....although this again leaves me slightly uncomfortable...as my car is a good 20 minutes away from church and in the opposite direction of anyone but Adam. Again the whole thought of being a burden tries to slip in, despite the fact that I did not ask them to do this, they kind of told me that is what would happen....and really if Adam had not agreed to lunch, they would then drive me back to my car later!

They couldn't get in. So in general I feel bad that these guys missed out on time with the group. Again folks, I never said this would be rational.

Moving on....Adam and I leave. He drops me at my car just as the tow truck shows up to open my car. The car is opened but I cannot access my truck. My door locks won't work for some reason....and ultimately we couldn't access my trunk from the back seats either because there is a latch that needs to be pulled to release them...in the trunk!

SO Virg (former roommie)and I are tossing around options and I am just thinking that I will have to miss the nephews big day and go to a dealership or locksmith on Monday to get my doors opened. In the meantime, I texted Adam to let him know what was up, cuz that is just what I do.

He calls immediately and tells me I can TAKE HIS CAR to Detroit for the night so I can get to the baptism...and deal with the car during business hours. I would let him know. Ultimately this is what happened, but not without more of those irrational conversations in my head.

Now at this point, I am realizing a theme here. Every bit of the day has been a day of relying on others to get to the next thing or be a part of what is happening. I know I am fairly independent and that I don't like having to rely on others for help. I am far better though. At least now, I just have the thoughts but still allow others to help and on occasion I have even been known to actually ask for help!

Someone once said to me, possibly Aaron, that when I ask for help it is like an invitation into my life. When I think about that and how I feel when someone asks me for help it is like that. It is such a JOY to help and to be invited into their space! On the flip side, when I find out that someone could have used my help and they didn't ask because they thought I might feel put out, I feel robbed. I never want to rob someone of the joy of helping. Of being the gift that they are to this world, to me. I don't want to be a thief!

But more, I don't want to be alone, married or not...so I will keep choosing to put the irrational thoughts out of my head, and accept help when it is offered, ask when it is not and it is needed, and ultimately live life in community....whether it is car troubles or weight struggles or any other kind of struggle...we are not meant to live life alone.

Oh and weigh in results....gained 1.2. No worries though...I had soy sauce yesterday....and regardless I know I did the work. If I honestly did the work and gained a little, I am not gonna freak out! I will just keep going and take care of it next week! (Yikes! does that sniff of whole health or what?)

Anticipation...and other Thoughts

I am excited for my weigh in tomorrow, yet trying to not be overly so! I am 3.8 LBS from being under 300. So, if I lose 4 lbs this week....I will have a preceding 2 instead of a 3. I KNOW that this is completely possible. I have worked out 4 days this week. I have eaten well and within calorie ranges the whole time. I have not gone off track at all since Last Monday(ok, I might have gone a little over on Saturday...I had some beer). 50 LBS was a huge milestone! This is another one!

While I really would love to hit this milestone this week, I know that it is also possible that I won't. Not for lack of effort but simply because the body does strange things at times. SO basically, I am not expecting 4 lbs this week. I am not expecting to hit it....but man I sure am hoping!

In other news, I spent a lovely weekend in GR this past weekend. I had already been thinking about going, but then someone asked me how I was going to reward myself for my 50 lbs. There is no better reward at this point in the game for me than to spend time with my friends in GR. So I went! It turned out quite eventful!

Downtown Chalk Art Event- This was so much fun! I went with my friend Jonny D and we decided that a crime scene was in order to be drawn....by the police station and in an alley! But the best part was the camaraderie and sense of community as people from all walks and stations in life came together into the heart of this great city with one purpose...to cover the city streets in chalk! It was neat to walk down the streets, looking at the creations of others, to make eye contact with dozens of people and not simply exchange a terse nod or a "I don't really care kind of hello" but rather to engage in conversation with strangers! I loved it!

Rock Band- A few friends gathered to play Rock Band. Yes I am 32 years old. I have never really been a huge video gamer outside of the original Super Mario Brothers that came out when I was 10 or so years old, but I LOVE this one! Probably because you really do play it TOGETHER! You laugh with and at those that you are playing with. I KNOW that I cannot sing Wanted Dead or Alive...and really shouldn't attempt it...but in this atmosphere....who cares....it is all fun!

On Sunday I locked my keys in my trunk as I was loading my car and getting ready for church. Fortunately, kind Adam picked me up for church and I figured I would skip lunch with a few friends so I can make sure I get my car keys back in time to be back in Detroit for my 9 yr old nephews Baptism. Well, we ended up having lunch with friends...so lovely...then I went back to my car to figure that out.

To make a long story short...(as if that is possible for me) I got into my car but could not access the trunk. My trunk unlock button wouldn't work. I can only assume it is because neither the key nor the remote opened the doors. I couldn't climb through the back seats that DO fold down, because there is a release latch that needs to be pulled for them to fold down....which is in the trunk!

I was getting anxious now and thinking I would end up missing Gavin's Baptism. This is my first nephew to be baptized and it is awesome how at 9 years old he decided on his own that he wanted to be....another long story...suffice it to say I really really did not want to miss this!

In the end...I had a superhero step in. Adam gave me his car for the night. I could make it....if I left super quickly and bring his car back today (Monday), at which time I would continue figuring out how to get into my trunk! Adam is the hero for the day! I am incredibly grateful for him and his generosity!

In the end, my keys are out of the trunk and I have a spare that will unlock my doors if I ever lock them in again! I think I am going to make another one...and keep one in GR with my friends there and one in Detroit. I don't lose my keys...I just lock them in my car!!!

So that was my eventful evening. I will be posting soon about Dependence....as that is what God is being loud about these days and it had a spot lot put on it with this whole car key thing!

Current Goal List!

My goal list widget is frustrating me. I can see it fine. I can check things off of it perfectly. As far as I have been concerned it was working fine. Except you all have no idea what my goals are....nor can you celebrate as I check things off, unless of course if I blog specifically about something.

So just so you have SOME idea of what is on there until I figure that out....here is my current complete list of goals. (I may end up moving my blog to wordpress if I cannot figure this and a few other things out!)

• Lose 25 LBS COMPLETE
• Lose 50 LBS COMPLETE!!!!!
• Lose 75 LBS by June 12th
• Lose 100 LBS
• unpack and wear the smaller sizes COMPLETE
• HAVE to buy new clothes ALMOST there...smaller sizes are getting me by
• complete a ropes course
• Do 2 legs of a triathlon
• LOSE 125 LBS
• Lose 150 LBS
• Lose 175 LBS
• Lose 200 LBS...reach maintenance level
• Be able to borrow someone else's clothes
• Run 5K straight by end of summer 2009
• Complete a full triathlon...by myself
• SKYDIVING
• Sweat Like Coach!
• Wear Adam's snow pants

And then of course there are the ones Adam added to my list for me. So these are Adam's goals for me.

• white water rafting/kayaking (sure why not!)
• skiing with Adam-he says he will teach me!
• solo sail around the world-I will not do this...unless I can take someone with me...too lonely!
• go BASE jumping-umm no thanks
• play rock band drums on expert (this will be checked off this weekend....fortunately he did not specify what % I needed to get correct!)
• Play the trumpet- I have done this....in Jr. High...but he/I want to learn again...and then I have to play for him...I can do this!
• do a flip off the diving board....YIKES...we will see
• Clean the Medema Mansion-Been there done that...he is just trying to get out of chores!
• do a handstand-he didn't specify land or water..so I say I this is COMPLETE!
• go surfing
• lay on a bed of nails- um no...you first
• walk across burning coals- again..you first Adam!
• blow bubbles- Bubbles will be blown this weekend!
• tight rope walk the Grand Canyon- as long as I can be harnessed in and have a rope above and below me...ok