Random Thoughts

Random Thought #1. Having been a person for so long that had to process through everything on a head level to be able to figure out what I "must be" feeling (because it makes sense to feel that way based on the situation), it is interesting to notice feelings and reactions to things so much sooner. It is good to feel things as they are happening and to be able to deal with the feelings and the situation so much sooner, before it has a chance to get in the way of a relationship or stop me from achieving my goals. I feel like a crazy woman sometimes as I am completely happy and content with everything one minute then crying the next or angry or....you get the picture. The interesting thing is this is not crazy, this is called emotional health!

Random Thought #2. It is amazing to me how one day I can be super excited about something and the next...not so much. I have been super excited that I have started running sprints. I know it has only been 2 days. It is new and something I have never done before. It is a milestone in my fitness achievements. It is definitely something to be celebrated. And yet tonight, I was not wanting to run. Oh I wanted to be at the gym. And I wanted to work out. I just did not want to run. But I did, because 1. I know it is a great cardio workout. 2. I need as much cardio as I can get as I work to lose weight and ultimately I want to lose weight more than I don't want to run.

So, as I ran my 30 second sprints for my 30 minute set. I wanted so bad to quit. I was looking for aches and pains that might not be quite right that would let me off the hook. There were none. Yes my legs were tired and at times my breathing was incredibly labored, but I know what to do there....rest a little longer between sprints or slow it down a bit. I kept telling myself that if I really don't want to run tonight, that is fine, I can walk...after I finish what I started. For me, unless there was some sort of physical injury, I had to finish the 30 minute set but I could choose not to start a 2nd 30 minute set. I finished and decided to try the elliptical machine for the rest of my hour of cardio work. I hated that more than I hated running (and that only took 30 seconds to determine that)...so I ran again.

This new mentality to finish what I start because I said so is pretty cool. It shows that I am getting stronger and have what it takes to keep going despite the odds. It shows that even if I don't have someone there pushing me, I can push myself. It shows that I can do this.

I like that feeling. We will see what feelings are brought tomorrow at spin class...perhaps I will renew my enjoyment of running in lieu of a hatred for spin class! Or perhaps I will find some measure of enjoyment, now that I have already done it once and know what to expect.

Random Thought #3. Last random thought, then I am going to post this thing...2 liters of water is not enough when I am working out as hard as I am. I have had a headache 3 days in a row and I can pinch my skin and it doesn't go back immediately.